Thoughts on Marriage

Now, I am not married. The sad thing is I dont even have a girl friend. Some people might think that I am lucky here ;). I came to know about a chinese joke, that marriage is like a fort. People who are outside the fort, want to get in while people inside wants to get out. Jokes apart, marriage is one of the most important decision that one takes in ones life. In a mailing list that I am subscribed to, there was a discussion about marriage and why the divorce rates in India is getting higher. Many people have different opinions of the whole concept of divorce. Since I have my own opinion, I thought I should voice it over.

There could be many reasons for a divorce. Alcholism, cheating spouse, physically absuing husband/wife etc etc are sure fire case for a divorce, if it cannot be mended with some effort from the family/friends/oneself. There is no point in living with a cheating/physically absuing spouse. Ofcourse, the child gets affected due to the divorce, but then it is a casuality which one has to take into account when one takes such decisions.

The other type of In the case of ego problems, like spouse is more successful than one self, problems with in-laws etc. These are completely avoidable. Most of the problem boils down to ones ego/miscommunication/expectations. When one gets married, one should be ready to compromise on many things, including things that are dear to oneself like ego. One has to open up and talk about problems currently affecting their lives. Each person had the right to have their own belief/opinions. Expecting ones spouse to act according to ones wishes is a gauranteed path to trouble. I for one believe that we have only one life to live and every problem has a good solution. There is no point in waging a "silent" war with ones spouse and screw ones life. If there is a hint of a problem, talk it out and resolve it then and there. Each one has to learn the boudaries after which anything told or done will affect the other person in an adverse way.

Live happy, make a mark in this world, eat and sleep well and enjoy life. There are so many things to do in life and waging a "silent" war with ones spouse is the thing for which no energy should be spent.

PS: A related post of mine "Problems with in-laws" also refers to this kind of problem