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Thoughts

Friday, August 12, 2005

Problems with In-Laws

Since most of my undergrad classmates will be getting married in a year or so and since I still have a hope that one day I will finish my PhD and get married, I thought to write about this persistant problem - the problems in the family due to in-laws. One common problem is the "misunderstandings" between the girl and her mother-in-law. I am talking about well educated people here. Families who do not give or demand dowry. Money is not the problem. Everything looks wonderful at the beginning. Then slowly things take an "about turn". The girl would have told something about the mother-in-law that she dint actually mean to say or vice-versa and thats enough to start a life long struggle. In between them is the guy, who would want to side with both his parents and his wife, but for some reason can never find a perfect balance. Its a pititable state. In most cases, a simple open-hearted talk between the girl and the mother-in-law and a few apologies could solve the problem. Once they try and understand each others "emotional boundary" and they take care not to cross those, most problems would never recur. But this rarely happens. The "feud" continues for a long time. By the time, they understand one another and "like" each other, the "good old days" are long gone.